Foot in the mouth

Foot in mouth disease: A description about one who has a habit of putting their foot in their mouth. From Foot and Mouth Disease.

"Oh, Geez, I'm sorry!" Bob said. "You've got foot in mouth disease today, don't you?"

This is Urban dictionary's word of the day. However this is also something I suffer from. It often occurs when I have something awfully embarrassing to say about a particular person or myself and the concerned individual just happens to be with earshot or a really cute guy walks by!

This causes awkard silences and more than often ensures that you don't get asked out.

Things I thought about this week!

Tuesday, 25 th November
1) Wtf
2) I'm the jerk again?...again?

Wednesday, 26 th November
1)Wtf
2)I'm never going to 'get'(understand) men.
3)Beer doesn't taste that bad
4)Beer is nice
5)I love toons.

Thursday, 27th November
Hate is a dangerous think to breed. I don't think those terrorists are muslims. Maybe this is a Malegaon blast case distractor. Oh my God they are muslims. How can someone do such a horrible thing.

Friday, 28th Novemeber
I 'm depressed..little boys younger than me hold on to the Taj, kill innocents. I admire their determination, perseverence and guts. If only they'd have used it in a better way!

Saturday, 29th November
1) I wish Sunday doesn't come.
2) In the car while on my way home I'm listening to Every breath you take by 'The Police'. This would be the freakiest song to sing to your wife on her wedding day.
3) It's S's birthday a day for an entire Tiramisu cake, in the past.
4)Happy birthday... I need menthol, maybe i should just disappear.

Sunday, 30th November
1) Church is a nice place to go.
2)Lets get this over with...sigh sigh sigh
3) (From work) OMG let me just run away home.
4) I'm never coming back to work. I'm not coming back tomorrow.
5) S wants a pastry and coffee...Happy birthday!
6) Lets go, got my salary today anyway.
7) He's so sweet and reliable... maybe I made a mistake.

Monday, 1st December
1) Another day at the office... What have I goofed up today?
2) I wish Gtalk was real life. Then I could turn invisible when I wanted to. Block meeting bugging people. Use emoticons and be mysterious.
2) Tomorrow is my day off... I need to get a life.
3) Should I go to work tomorrow?

Tuesday, 2nd December
1) My grandfather turned 80.
2) Wow
3) Do I really want to live that long?
4) No 50 is good enough
5) I want to have a kid, a biological one, and raise her on my own. Yup it's a girl. Oh my god I am crazy.
6) For that I'd have to jump the country or escape this city or my parents would die or kill me whichever comes first.
7) There's a family party in the evening, what can I do to avoid it?
8) I'll just take my walk on the hill, I love that, things feel good then.
9) Lets party!

A good morning!

I have come to realise that food is therapeutic... for me. It's not that I am a compulsive eater or anything. I have a fairly proportionate body. But I really think some foods push the clouds away. I have wednesday blues (I work six days a week and my day off is tuesday!)
Anyway when i'm feeling blue all i have to do is get to the freezer pull out a pack of bacon and fry it up. The smell is fantastic. Then come the eggs no more oil i just plop it into the frying pan the flavour from the bacon comes through, add some milk or cream whip it around a bit ensure it doesnt cook to long. Then toast some bread till it becomes a nice light brown spread some butter and I'm done. I like a good cup of cha then.

It just feels great to see my plate when the sun falls on it... strips of bacon all straight, my soft scrambled eggs a light yellow and the toast just right. A steaming cup of tea What a beautiful sight!
Suddenly everything feels all right... everything and I have enough protein to last till lunch!

She coloured again

Here's the second attempt this time I didn't copy ...yes that's why it looks like this. I'm trying to teach myself though!

She colours

Janice got bored and tried to colour. Here's what she ended up with. Now Janice'll try more till she runs out of paint or her paint dries out.

It's all in the Palm

Ok so Im writing again! Yippee!
Okay very important, I got myself thumbprinted.
Some of my friends went to this Naadi astrologer guy. Yeah! I dont know much about it so I'm not going to explain a lot. There was this guy who lived in the south of India many years ago. It seems he saw the future of everyone on earth (I dont know how), but unlike me he didn't ignore his genius. He wrote these futures down on palm leaves. So it seems that your future is based you on your thumbprint (Now you see).
Anyway some of the palm leaves were eaten by some worms and some survived. So they hunt through all these palm leaves and may find my future. Oh and the whole thing is done in ancient Tamil. I'm waiting eh!
Anyway my friends discovered I was the third person in their marriage (hehehe.wat a threesome we are!)
Now I wait for my palmy future, A previous astrologer at Westside predicted I would get married twice. Let's see if he was telling the truth.
I will keep you posted on the number of marriages I will have and how many kids I will have and how I will be rich and successful.
Till then I'm staring at palm trees. Hey don't they make toddy from palm?

In a Tizzy

I was all set. Believing, actually quite blindly that I was in a world that had only superficial lines that divided man from woman in the name of a God. Well now, I'm spinning quite out of control and I can't seem to make up my mind as to whether what I thought was real was well...real.
You see I was all set to enter into an inter religious union because I felt that what was more important than a tea cup on the moon was that two very tangible beings began to make sense to each other and would like to continue to amass great volumes of that sense.
What faff! Anyway , it seems quite futile and foolish.

She doesn't own an opium field and has not large expanses of land. I dont know what she has, but this 21 year old was definitely born with the right surname. And as I see the dreams I saw dissappear into the first rays of sunlight. It's surprising that the only warmth I feel is in the lump accumulated in my throat.

The day is fixed the month too. And all I can do is wish you luck.
Farewell.

Getting the right looks?

What is so special about summer? Is it the heat, is it the holidays, is it the women in skimpy clothes or men in gunjees? Well the answer is all of the above, and as you heard in the song from the movie Grease summer is also about flirty fun or well...love. For that you have to have a good look at your pretty woman or man. But, to do this you have to be discreet because most people don’t take too kindly to being checked out.
We scouted the city for the perfect gape disguise, and we sure found the best it offers!
Minimalist:
Rs 150
Ashok Vijay Complex, Pune Camp
Its hot and you want to look cool, the thing is your pocket isn’t too deep to dig into. Anyway to mask those sly glances at hot bods all you need is the basics. We spotted these really cool glasses with gold and white prints on them. I guarantee that you will get a second look whilst walking on the street because they are so cool, and for 150 bucks they are a real steal!
Go Between:
Price: 1700/-
GKB Opticals MG Road, Camp
Okay! these glasses are for those sly gawkers that secretly want to be caught ogling at hotties. Yes! Why wouldn’t anyone want to know that they are hot and worth checking out. These cool, rimless shades are tinted brown and their huge lenses and thin gold bridge sure guarantee a cool chic look. Imagine yourself in strappy polka dotted dress strutting on Pune’s most fashionable do’s and your right on track with these ones
Splurge:
Price: 9900/-
Lifestyle, Kalyani Nagar,
Oakley, Script
Who doesn't like to feel like a president’s wife? Pull the Jackie O'Nassis look once in a while! Well, you can do the same, but make sure you have 10,000 buckaroos with you. It's a bit of a deep hole in the pocket but for all those haughty taughty women who have to have the best of everything, go straight to Lifestyle and pick up a pair of these huge but extra sexy shades for yourself. Who knows, you might meet your own John Kennedy in these. Whether it's the beach, the Mula River bank, the swimming pool, or just a shopping expedition, these ivory brown glares go with anything that's beige, brown, black, ivory, even step into some orangish tones. I must say, I did enjoy looking like I was a busy celebrity in these for like two minutes and then I realized, I still need to pay my phone bill for the month so I sheepishly put it back and jetted out of there.

For my nose

I have a very sensitive nose, I can smell edible food stuff from a distance that other people cannot. So I always know when vada pavs are being devoured anywhere. This heightened sense of smell actually places me in the league of Heroes on Star Plus,but they didnt pay me enought o go on air... so I started this column. Anyway, every boon comes with a bane. My sensitive nose has to deal with body odour. Since deodorants aren’t fashionable enough for this column, I had to popularise perfumes so that my nose hair don’t have to regenerate every few hours.

Splurge: Le Baiser Du Dragon by Cartier Rs5550/-
Indiabulls (SGS Mall Camp)
My nose smelt a dragon...yes a nice smelling dragon. How many of you can smell dragons? So I followed the scent all the way to SGS mall in Camp and the source of the scent was a bottle. Imagine my disappointment to not see a firebreathing creature, but a nice looking bottle from Cartier with gold coloured liquid in it which smelt woody and strong. At Rs 5550 for 50 ml, this is something nice you can buy your wife or girlfriend on their birthdays or your anniversary. Oh, and the name translates to the kiss of a dragon. Imagine that!

Go Between: Aqualily, The Body Shop, Rs 845/- Camp
After the fiery experience, I was on the lookout for something more delicate. I trusted my nose once more and entered this store a tad consciously. What I chanced upon was a delicate blue coloured liquid. Closing my eyes, I could imagine crossing a pond skipping on dewy lotus leaves at dawn. Yes! Yes...if you close your eyes and inhale Aqualily from Bodyshop, you may just be able to do that. It’s intriguing and light but too dainty for my taste. And at the price tag which isnt as high you could even gift it to me! I’ll gift it to some one else.

Minimalist: M. G. Road, Do It, Rs 50/-
I entered this store to check out the perfumes as I saw a neat stack of them on the shelves. One that did catch my eye was called Do It! So I did. I snagged the bottle for a mere 50 bucks. The bottle, as you can see, isn’t that bad on inspection and if you’re buying a gift for someone you don’t know that much or like much, or for an ex boyfriend, then you can make them feel special and not go broke at the same time. The fragrance is a little confusing and very strong and if its not to your liking, use it as an air freshener!

Itsy bitsy teeny weeny

Can we please change my name to Miranda Priestly?

The heatwave swamping the city is getting to you and swimming seems to be the only way out. You rummaged through your cupboard and found your swimsuit has mysteriously shrunk by two sizes, or is missing all together and you couldn't be bothered to go on a quest to find it. What you do need is a new suit, and since fairygodmothers with swift, wandwaving motions seem to magically appear only if your name is Cinderella, you'll either have to change your name or go shopping. Let's make that hunting, because as we found most of the city's boutiques haven't stocked up on it yet.
Minimalist: Prime Sports 525/
If you're a poor journalist (like me) or feel that money should be spent on food, head to Prime Sports. This store is on MG Road and does, as it's name seems to suggest, stock primarily sports goods. But if you're wearing walking shoes and are up for a climb, the 2nd level does have a few swimsuits that may fit, both your budget and you!
Go Between: Gatwick 850/
Don't be distracted by the lacy lingerie that adorns the shop window. Look instead at the door that on first glance seems like it's collided with a rainbow. Colourful bikinis, as stringy as they are bright, look up at you in wonder. "How are you today, Janice?" they say. I tried to reply. But the words just didn't come out of my mouth. I mean.. what does one say to a door full of bikinis anyway? I did however, pick up a pair priced at a decent 850/-.
Splurge: Adidas 1990/-
Well! The olympics are approaching and if you haven't been able to make it to the swimming team, but want to look as though you have, check out the swimwear Adidas has to offer at Planet Sports on Level 1 at Pune Central located on Bund Garden Road. Since you're indulging yourself anyway, walk around the rest of the mall, visit the foodcourt - it does have an AC (yes, I am obsessed about air cons. In my defence: it's hot!).

Hot Sho(r)ts

Yippee!!! I have a column in the Pune Mirror in which i write every Saturday. Here, for the convenience of my countless fans, I will post the cool column every week! This is the first so read and enjoy!

Its time to beat the heat again...and what better way than to raise the hemlines and show off those shapely legs-the shorter the cut the better the look. Mirror did the rounds of the city to dress up all you hot sho(r)ts. If you think when it comes to clothes you get charged by the metre. Take a shot! We found that while buying shorts you actually get charged per square inch of skin you show. So you may burn as big a Hole In your Pocket (HIP) as you want, but these threads make you look as cool as you’ll feel in them.
Verdict : Who knew half a metre of cloth with buttons can do you in
This is what we found:
Splurge:
HIP: 2500/-
Where: Espirit Section, Lifestyle Stores, Kalyani Nagar
Step out of the hot sun and into the cool lifestyle store. As you breathe a sigh of relief for the airconditioning you notice the Espirit section. Step in and these chequered sepia and red striped shorts will catch your eye. The price tag is a tad steep but then its Espirit! For those who swear by brands, you couldn’t have hit a better note.

Go Between:
HIP: 695/-
Where: Chica, Koregaon Park
Okay this store definitely has stuff that you can fit into a mid-size budget. We spotted this cute pair of shorts with a little lace, a little embroidery and a whole lot of spunk. For the price, we were satisfied. PS(Shops with no airconditioningoffer good bargains!)
Minimalist
HIP: 100/-
Where: Fashion Street, Camp
This is mother of all shopping stops.. because you can haggle and who doesn’t love a cheap thrill. We saw this really hot red pair of shorts for a cool 160/- But a few fake I’m-walking-away-steps later, we landed the deal at a rather decent Rs. 100/- Have to work on those bargaining skills though!

At 2 am

It’s funny, how sometimes you get so close to something you lose all objectivity and see what it is not in its entirety. Somethings are as weird as simply that–looking to closely. Ignoring the obvious signs of decay and the shouting signs of a puzzle that ain’t fitting in. But you look only at one corner and see that it is perfect.

It’s much like my typing. I like to look down at the keyboard and see my fingers pushing the right alphabet down on the keyboard. And more than often I’m looking at my fingers more than what key is being pushed down. So I kind of push the wrong buttons. But at the same time I feel that everything’s in order and it’s all right. Another common thing I often do is write just like I’m thinking without commas, full stops, or hyphens or capital letters. It’s fun then to look up on the screen and look at the royal mess.

And there are other times that you hope to look at the larger picture and then fail to see the little goof-ups that ruin a wonderfully boring read.

I’m feeling a little lost nowadays…lost because I don’t realty see anything or look at anything with any sort of vision. I just see and say okay and move on. It’s weird because I normally think things out all the time.

There was a time when the brain would whirr overtime in thinking about stuff I perceived. I used to look at a woman on the road and then launch into a debate of how she had her own circles of doubt, love, people and fear. I’d analyse things like the colour she wore, the way her face looked whether she was tired or not, whether she had kids or not. You see if you look closely you’ll know because your mind’s been in those situations before. It recognizes little furrows on the forehead, down turned curls of the lips, plastic smiles that never reach your eyes.

I’ve reached the end yaar with no logic coming out of this one. I’m finished… a little worn out and a little less sprightly. This ain’t my job because I couldn’t have asked for anything better! This is something closer to home and heart and it’s too steep a road to climb onto.

(A) Void Reading

I have begun to do the finger dance on the keyboard of this computer but... the mind refuses to spew conjunctions adjectives or even a noun. So yes, i agree there have been no new posts, no weird nothings. I guess sometimes spaceless voids are a good place to get into. Anyway to update whoever you are on the unhhappenings of my life a job shift has occured and i'm enjoying the honeymoon.. lets make the most of it while it lasts.

That said i will come up with something remotely interesting in the near future.....till then i love you all.... mwaah!
-Me and my self absorbent rockstar ego.

Cold Grey February

This month has been pathetic so far…

First pathetic thing to happen, a very pretty gold and platinum chain I lose…did I mention... it had a very pretty pendant on it. I wanted to wear it for a friend's wedding, but I lost it enroute. This is something that happens to only ME. This happened on the same day that our car got broken into on Residency Club Road(or whatever it is called). This happened on the 2nd of Feb.

Today, 8th Feb, just six days after my terrible loss, tragedy struck again. My quite new Nokia 6300 gets stolen from my work station. I went up to the terrace of my office for a team photograph and when I get back…poof!!! It has vanished. First I thought it was someone’s sick idea of a joke so I quizzed friends and all, frisked pockets too. But no, no one has it.
I called up Idea(because they can change my life) they have some stupid tracker technology that helps you find stolen things.But for that you have to go to the nearest police station, file an FIR, then go to the nearest Idea showroom and then only then will they help you. Dumb people. Wouldn’t the thief throw out the SIM card by then?

Anyway the phone is gone, the numbers of all the people are gone, and everything is lost.

A consoling man told me that it’s good I’m losing all these expensive things because something terrible is going to happen to me… and my lousy fate is transferred to these non entities. So my pathetic fate has to be paid for by these innocent things.
This is so like real life though.

And what... someone gave me grey clay to play with so I made two roses…they look quite nice. (I revel in depression, my artistic sensibilities are heightened) roses?... It’s the perfect colour for this so called stupid cupid month-GREY!

Anyway chain gone, phone gone, what else? And it’s only the 8th day of this month. 20 days to go….

At this rate, I think I was Hitler in my previous birth, who caused the genocide of innocent Jews. My karma decides to catch up on me now when I don’t run a state or country, where I’m a woman struggling in still quite a manly world, and I have no inherited wealth. Way to go… until my next blog.

Till then I stare at grey roses…and if by any chance you read this (the one who’s working this black magic on me.) Stop I give... I’ll do whatever you want, I’m sorry if I’ve offended you in any way. I didn’t mean to.

Yours sorrowfully till February ends,
J

Washing Up

It’s so easy to slip between the sheets, cradle a book, eat something nice, sip on some hot coffee and then drift into a pleasant dream.
It’s so easy to drive twenty minutes to a hill, sit on a swivel chair, peck at a keyboard, get served some tea, and leave when you decide to call it a day.

It’s easy to ignore the fact that you are getting really fat from too much inertia, it’s easy to ignore the fact that you should probably have a bath or brush your teeth at least. It’s even easier to close your eyes and fall asleep.
But then… the book will finish some day, the crumbs of food will eventually bother you, and the unwashed coffee cup­­­- in its time, will scowl at you long enough for you to kick off your blanket (even though reluctantly) pick it up and wash it. Oh yes! The dream… that ends too.

Its easy to ignore the nip of an uncomfortable feeling, and even easier to move through the day from one cup of tea to the other, oblivious to the fast-paced pecking sounds, buzzing conversations, and the movement in and out of boardrooms. It’s easy to the power of infinity to pay no attention to the sounds of steady footsteps advancing, especially when you do not know where forward is.

What’s not easy, however, is to acknowledge the scowl, what’s tougher is moving your leg to kick off the blanket, and the toughest is stepping on the cold floor and washing up that cup.
Its easy, they say to slip into a comfort zone and be… and who better to lend credibility to that than me. I have detested change... mostly.

Change makes me uncomfortable. Giving up the route you take and the path you follow to make it to your spot; that breeds a certain familiarity that forms a warm comfortable sheath of gooey goodness, like melted hot chocolate on a warm, soft doughnut. Sweet, delectable and yet quite unhealthy as your staple diet.

This is always true, whether it’s a shift in your job, home or relationship. Change though, pushes you… to aim higher and work harder. It awakens the little cells in your body and brain that were feeling a little left out and had almost gone off to sleep.

Change, is inevitable, and most of the times it’s quite good.

Just Looking

One morning I saw…

Husband walks behind his very pregnant wife carrying in his hands a footstool and cushion to make her as comfortable as he can… I suppose. Not a shade of embarrassment…but I think a whole lot of pride.
Didn’t look silly, small or weird to me at all!

The scene took me back to college... there’s a girl who asks her boyfriend to tie her shoelaces because her hands are full of books. Boy obliges, gets on his knee, ties the shoelaces –in the middle of the college campus…and they are off on their way…happy. I on the other hand was sniggering in the background. How lame!

Strange isn’t it, the selflessness that love brings with it? Strange isnt it, how much my perspective has come to change?

Na(h)...No Again!!!!

When the Washington Post says something about the Nano and I read and nod because it kinda echoes the same thoughts as me, I have to share it with you.
Yes this is like looking at the same issue but with the larger picture in mind... My view then,(though myopic) gains some credibility. Not that I was asking for it.

Here's the link Read on....
http://www.indianexpress.com/story/262144.html

And this is from another article....
The great RT quotes..""I don't think we are boxed into a corner. We never said that it will be a Rs one lakh car, but it was media speculation that we accepted as a challenge. The concept started as a social issue and not as a business or philanthropy. There will be a base model and several variants for upmarket (consumers) that will add up as an attractive business prospect,"

A haughty huh!!

Na(h)..No

So, the bear-like Ratan Tata unveiled the Nano–finally. Poor man stuffed in a Nano. I felt sorry for him, his discomfort was palpable. What an ordeal to fit that bear like frame into the matchbox. I know he couldn’t wait to get out. I for one want the car to explode. I hope none are killed in the process, but seriously the car should explode… all the cars of the first batch should… actually. Then production should be halted and they should disappear into oblivion…the single windscreen wiper and all. I hope I pray I beg.

Now here... don’t get me wrong I am not part of the bourgeois…trying to keep all 4-wheelers for my class! But the 1lakh mini car…I can’t bring myself to agree with. Have you seen our roads…. if you have, then you will know why this is such an issue for me to deal with. You see, I travel about 40 km a day. Going from home to where I work. It is a pretty long route and to make it even worse the traffic, the roads and the mish mash they create, makes me tear my hair out with anger, grief and a million other emotions. Imagine… in place of the 50 million two wheelers that clamour for space on the ideal Pune road… we’ll now have 50 million little Nanos… like a tram car all lined up one behind the other… honking spouting fumes… breaking signals… crossing over dividers… and…

I believe it was Ratan Tata’s grandfather who foresaw that Mumbai wouldn’t be able to contain its own people one day. He urged the construction of flyovers and the transport system. I have always admired the man ( RT) btw… but really now the heart is brokem.

When you reduce the cost of a commodity… then you also reduce its value. More people buy the car making the Tatas richer by a few crores. Yes, and then what of the petrol consumption…it sky rockets…and aren’t we busy haggling with the US and Iran…well who cares? What about our infrastructure? Are we equipped to handle an influx of a few thousand Nanos? What about whether we as a people are mature enough to actually use the road sense we have? I mean I can’t believe that men who are touted as visionaries… who are probable candidates for presidency (some news channel) lack this vision… I mean Mr. Tata what are were the reasons? (other than the moolah of course). Couldn’t you use your research department to come up with something noteworthy like a car that runs on plastic… or sunlight?

We don’t let a 14 year old drive do we even though he is dying to …we realize he isn’t mature enough to hit the road right? I agree we are not the people to judge whether the population here is immature or not… but still…

And Mr. Tata…I’m happy that you looked uncomfortable in the Nano because that’s how uncomfortable I will be after the reality of the Nano hits us…

In Flight

In the course of one of my extensive travels, the unseen power of my mind pushed me to explore a newer different coloured land of red mud and berries. Yes, it was here that I would gain a new perspective on flight. The flight of imagination and... well mine.

So, you sign your name on the notepad in scratchy writing…the boys that accompany you do not. I guess their tummies begin to churn just a little. But let’s not get condescending now. The adventurous woman has to move forward. They put me into an adult baby carrier and place a helmet on my head.

‘Be careful,’ says a soul from behind me. Right hand forward...teary-eyed and all.
“If anything happens to me, tell me you will live on... go on and marry that peaches and cream girl across the border.” I reply with equal melodrama.

The wings are brought on… I choose the bright orange ones. What’s the point of flying if no one sees you eh?

“Two men collided into each other. Their wings got locked and they hurtled together into the abyss. They flew their last flight in unison,“ says a bystander.

Suddenly, hands clutch me from behind.

“Don’t do this. You still have a chance. What foolishness!! We aren’t meant for flight, we are mere bipeds, confined to the surface of the earth. No nooo nooo.

The tragic hero(ine) in me rises. “I’d rather die in flight,” I say, ”how better that is, than to die old and ugly in a bed of white linen, surrounded by rare tonics and the sickening sweet smell of partially rotting flowers. And then the girl across the border… isn’t she a better match for you. She comes with six acres of farmland. Imagine how much opium poppy you can grow?”

The hands loosen their grip.

I don’t know whether it was the utter exasperation of trying to change the mind of a bull, the lust of the girl across the border, the visual impact of the farmland, or the reminder of the high that opium brings. Anyway with those impediments out of my way, I march forward.

A man attaches himself to my wings because I don’t know how to operate them.
“You’ll have to run off the cliff,” he says. I nod.

We begin our run. It’s wonderful. I am running, looking at my feet. Left foot on red mud… right foot on red mud, left foot on red mud… right foot on red mud…. Left foot on red mud…. right foot on re…no on nothing… on air.

My first step on air and I am yanked upwards. I am flying. I feel nothing, not the weight of my heavier lower half nor the starkly contrasting weight of the lighter upper half. Nothing… pure nothing…weightless nothing. The initial excitement begins to wear off, the ants on the ground I can now see. The green tattoo on the mount I now see. The colour of its skin contrasting the myriad shades of green, creating a pattern for only those in flight to see. Hey what’s that white and black thing? Its moving…a gau (cow). Oh my!!! So tiny. Exhilaration at its best!

“The wind’s dropping,” he says from behind.
“What?” I ask.
“We aren’t going to make it back to the hilltop,” he says. Do you want to do some tricks while we still have the time? We’ll go down faster…but it might be a little scary… for a girl that is.”

Scary for a girl. I’ll show you MCP. And if your going down the faster the better right? Less time to imagine yourself hurtling down into a rocky chasm and virtually feeling the impact of jagged rocks on the tender flesh of different parts of the body.

“Go ahead” I said in a voice that (I thought) reeked of indifference and confidence, “I’m not scared off easily.”
We proceeded, then, to do stomach churning flippy things…and yes we did fall faster.

“Do u want to crash into that tree there?” He asked.
Want? Yeah right, lynched to death. Exactly what I’ve prayed for all my life! Oh my! It’s a giant thorn tree so I’ll be scratched beyond recognition.
“I want to die pretty”, I said... “find a better spot”.
He laughs “We’ll land beside it then.”
Isnt there a water body close by?” I ask. “That would cushion us a little”.
“Well, there is, but we don’t have enough air to carry us there. The field will have to do. Raise both your legs up and land on your er… er… seat,” He says.

Hmm... interesting line of instruction. So contrary to popular opinion my last thoughts on earth were not nostalgic ones of family, friend, lover or enemy. Neither did I see my whole life flash in front of me in those split seconds. There were thoughts of perverseness. But then, I always knew that I was made of different clay or mud or whatever it is that humans are made of!

We land in the middle of the field. A cow bears witness. The farmer and his brigade of small boys can be seen running towards us in the distance. I live…to write this.

Strange isn’t it, we begin our flight to take us higher than we already are; we begin our flight to newer heights, not content with the altitude we are at. Sometimes we soar for a few moments and then land smack in the middle of another level a little lower than what we were originally at.

But then a few minutes of flight are well worth the arduous walk upwards!

On My Way

A vortex they form-white mists...cold. I see them through the glass and I know I'm on my way. I pass them...do they speak? Wisps of whiteness outside my window and I sail through it all. An enchanted forest to my right i see... with pixies and witches and goblins and fairies. These creatures i dare not see or they would burst into dust. They are definitely there, carefully hidden from this eye.

The house that haunts (or do I haunt it?) ...I pass... and then the lights..three mainly... they order, we obey... he he we are lorded over by the lights... What an evolved species we are! The universe speaks they say in symbols in glimpses your mind should make sense of it all. Pray then tell me if this makes any sense?

Car doors on tinned rooftops-a rainbow?, table fans on a dusty table ..some bladeless...huddled together like sheep sheltering themselves from the cold blasts of air which I artfully evade. Creatures that walk on four legs and others that balance precariously on two. A sense of urgency I see in all of them-to be somewhere and no remote idea where that is. Metal sheets-mimicing the the wave pattern of the sea, shielding eyeless, earless, souless things. From whom-Me - the so(u)l(e)d? hahahaha..

Black asphalt carpets for me to glide on. Monsters there are here too mostly grey and evolving. Grey truckloads of dust create them... shields of glass then cover the grey nakedness, some have gigantic and ugly red overalls and fake sinister smiles rendering them uglier.

There is a sound now streaming into my mind it's catchy and known and feel good, but then its drowning the sounds of my mind.

I resist

Oh and then I glance upon my hill... my fortress-the only pretty thing I see.

Her finger rotates the disc and the noises are louder...My defences are swept away by tunes. Which piper is this? No. 983

I hum along with 983 the shreds of cotton disappear... I enter the grey dungeon. The mind is numbed....