I'm stuck...in nothingness...its sad and true. Just like the incessant weeping of the Gods causes the earth to morph into a giant mass of slush trapping an erring tyre in her marshy self.... Im stuck.
The trouble... i want too many things and am too lazy or just dont know how to go about getting it. The worst thing is that I have sucked the sweet nectar of what i want and the taste has lingered ...Was i too scared too get drunk on it? or was i just a stupid lazy brainless twit. The latter.. i fear... i am.
Im happy lost in a maze of doing things mechanically. I may be unsatisfied but then i dont have to think about it. But when im slowed down maybe by an illness or the time in the morning when im in for a shower..these thoughts come to haunt me.
Stupid things like... Do i still look pretty? or Is this boy the right one for me? Will i be stuck here for eternity?
Can i escape the drudgery of who I am or what I want to be???? Can i float up and be free, or do i have to crawl and just be???
I hate having a bath it gives me time in solitude with myself. I hate it.
